“Small Kindnesses”

I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walkdown a crowded aisle, people pull in their legsto let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you”when someone sneezes, a leftoverfrom the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.And sometimes, when you spill lemonsfrom your grocery bag, someone else will help youpick them up. Mostly,…

Cervantes, feminism, and “you could say that his obstinacy killed him”

I shared this image with friends online, and it got a nice exchange going. My friend Jules: There’s a Jewish story in the Talmud similar to this too. “I am in love w this woman! I will die if I cannot have her!” Jewish elders: “So die then” “What if I just kissed her?” JE:…

Holyshit…hormones affect ADHD.

So, I listened to part of a podcast today, and learned some things. Here's the story. Catieosaurus, a great ADHD+ YouTuber, had an ovary removed (ovarian torsion), and the doctor mentioned generally there may be some side effects because hormone changes. But it wasn't just "some side effects", her ability to learn lines - she…

TW/CW: Death and grief

There’s a grief that can’t be spokenThere’s a pain goes on and onEmpty chairs at empty tablesNow my friends are dead and gone… In shows, they wait for the call, in that absolutely eternal, that never ending agony of having no path. No action. Just mercilessly helpless waiting. But then the call comes, and they…

Grief for the holidays

All this is a bummer, and about grief. Skip if you don't feel up to it. So! This was the worst lead-up to, and experience of, a holiday I've ever had. I'm relieved it's over. The kids were fantastic. Sean was supportive. My Mom and Lucy were in the boat with me. All of that…

How American food became interesting

Ok, this is fascinating. TL;DR, around 1900 some dudes in America were like "Well hellfire...food is bland. Let's go find better foods and bring home cuttings & seeds, and grow good stuff here." And that's how we (America) got potatoes, tomatoes, asparagus, smyrna figs, meyer lemons, durum wheat (and therefore our own macaroni), rice, bamboo,…

ADHD revelations about projects, time, and organizing

I have a lot of concepts that are coming together and contributing to each other. For example, this from yesterday: I should seriously stop thinking of projects and to-do items as discrete things. They're far more like pets. I need to feed my sales pet on most days I've got a dog walker for my…

I’ve never “worked smarter”

Typical ADHD brain (mine): cannot spread work out evenly among days or weeks. MUST do it all in a panic, at the last minute, or miss out entirely. It's not ideal. It's terribly stressful, and it costs me a lot. I had a realization, and wrote in my journal: My problem is that I only…

Today: a letter to me

Be in one piece, one place, at each moment of the day. Listen to music, read words, hug people. Attend to your needs, attend to theirs.  What else is there? Our environment - the things around us that require care - those things are weights, distractions. The realness is now, here, me, you, words, sounds.…

Hello morning – 2022.09.16

Morning pages are writing out whatever's in your head. My brother is in my head of course. I just want him back. I just want there to be three of us siblings, not two, like my sister said. I just want Mom not to hurt so much. I just want his life to have been…