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December 10, 2011

When we moved into this house 21 months ago, I asked Kiddo if she wanted to try out the church down the street. I was serious, but I also knew what her response would be, as she tended to complain about going to church at her mom’s (“boooring!”).  She said no.   A couple of weeks ago, she mentioned to me that she’d like to go to church over here. I reminded her of the conversation we’d already had, but she didn’t remember it.

So now I’m in the unique position of finding a church to attend with my daughter. Okay, that’s not unique, but it might be something of an understatement to say that I have mixed feelings about this whole thing.  To put it simply, I have some very big problems with organized religion. However, I also have always supported my kids’ right to explore and choose in their own way, as long as it’s not destructive and doesn’t go against our morals. (Yes, Virginia, you can be a heathen and have excellent morals, too.)  And finally, if my kid is going to a church, I’m going to be around to monitor.  You’re essentially allowing another group to shape messages about life and morality, so yes…that’s something I feel I should keep in close touch with.

To sum up: I have problems with organized religion, but I’m allowing my daughter to attend church, and I’m going too.

Yep. Really mixed feelings about this.  But I was a dedicated churchgoer at her age, and I vehemently support her right to explore her beliefs.


P.S. I know if you’re a churchgoer yourself, you have no idea what my problem is. I get that, I do.  And I’m not entirely sure I could explain it sufficiently to you, even if we were face to face…

4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 10, 2011 5:29 pm

    I agree with your sentiment. I have a son, and we have visited a number of establishments from Hindi through to more mainstream church. I think that the ‘added value’ is that our kids will grow up to respect other people’s beliefs, even if we don’t share them or hold that particular belief ourselves. In our multi-cultural society, it’s even more important.
    It’s good for kids to explore the ‘bigger’ questions about life, and it’s great you’re providing a supportive environment to do just that. I don’t want my son to grow up to be a passive consumer of goods and game-player; I want him to grow up to be a thinking adult as well, even if he disagrees with me 🙂
    I think what you’re doing is great. See you in March 🙂
    Kind wishes, Jen (from the UK)

    • December 10, 2011 5:32 pm

      I certainly did NOT expect the first comment to be a supportive one…thanks, Jen.

      Agreed. I’d like her to see more than just the mainstrain Christian POV, as well (though I don’t necessarily think one organized religion is any better than another)…expand that mind, man…

  2. December 10, 2011 10:27 pm

    Good on ya for supporting her right to decide how to see the world. If you run into issues – like, the preacher says something that bothers you, but you’re not sure how to rephrase so it makes an iota of sense and is still in line with Christian doctrine – I do have a religion degree, and I am happy to help you form coherent discussions. We could even build bibliographies and footnotes and reference pages! * deep breath * Ok, librariangasm is over.

  3. December 11, 2011 3:26 am


    It amazes me how sometimes I find someone of such a like mind to myself. I was raised in a church, started asking questions when I was a late teen, and, to put it simply, as you put it, I have a problem with organized religion. I would also let my children, if they so chose, to attend any religious service they wanted. As it turns out, my daughter is an adult, and has not shown any desire to, and my son, who is a young man though not quite adult, also has not. I’d be interested to hear how it turns out for you. I myself haven’t been to any kind of service since was 18, save for one time when I went with my parents as a Mother’s Day present for my very religious mother. Good on ya!

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