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Should I?

October 24, 2012

A friend of mine is considering coming out to the public, online. This particular email caught me during an emotionally charged week. Here is my answer to the question, “Should I?”

I’m starting to re-realize that the entire fucking grownup world is entirely made up. That’s everything from money to commercialism, to social boundaries and cocktail party rules. It’s all made up. That’s a negative in one sense, because it seems to take away meaning from everything done in the everyday. A teen would say “it’s all made up, why does it matter? why follow any of your bullshit rules?” As an adult, I guess we get a little more perspective, and we can be a little bit more wise about which made-up shit is worthwhile, and which is worth ignoring.

Worthwhile: most laws, personal space, not cutting in line, keeping a little cash on hand for emergencies (maybe), not flipping the bird at everyone on I-30.

Worth ignoring: Tightass motherfuckers who truly think that babies born of rape are God’s gift, and that homosexuals and bisexuals are two steps away from marrying rocks and dogs; being ashamed of anything that marks you as different from whatever tribe is currently judging; apologizing for who we are.

I’m fucking tired of apologizing for who I am. I’ve done it so much, I apologize TO MYSELF. I’m sorry I’m stupid about this, I’m sorry I’m not good at that, I’m sorry I’m so awkward and that I’m a fangirl.

This is me talking from after two weeks of beat up bullshit, being judged and kicked out of something important to me, of uncertainty and hard feelings. There are people who don’t like me, and who judge me harshly; fuck them, seven ways from Sunday. There are people who don’t understand me; they can go on about their lives, but I’m not going to trouble with them. And then there are people who love me, and people who don’t know me. I’m going to try to concern myself with that last group.

Me? I would advise you to concern yourself with that last group. If you want to reach people who are afraid, who are apologizing for themselves, who feel like the only gay/bi/atheist/disabled man/woman in the world, the post it. If you want to prove yourself to the judgy people, or those who just don’t get you, don’t bother.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 25, 2012 1:09 am

    A beautifully written response. That friend of yours should totally post her thingy. It might take her a few days to work up the nerve, of course.

  2. October 25, 2012 11:49 am

    I knew I liked you for a reason. This is it. 🙂

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