They weren’t wrong about the manual
There SHOULD be one for parenting. “But blah blah blah, there is one!” No, not really. Let’s look up a few things in the imaginary index of this imaginary manual, okay?
Under Milestones, Teen: In-theater Tarantino (memorializing) …. page 436
Under Issues, Emotional: Age , Frustrations and self-calming … page 332
Under Issues, School: Age 5, listening (and go ahead and grab Age 5, Bullying by the Bullied Child) … pages 563 and 589.
While we’re at it, there has to be Diet, Parents: Eating well with kids’ food all around. Also? Issues, parent: Getting out from under your childhood. (Those pages are somewhere in the thousands, I think.)
The thing comes with coupons for free personal assistants and maid services, of course.