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Let’s just try to call the next 12 months

July 27, 2017

So far in the USA this year – and I won’t get everything, okay? – we’ve had action toward:

  • banning foreigners from the country
  • banning trans people from the military. Also, bathrooms.
  • banning people in general from medical insurance, because Fuck People.
  • putting all the wrong people in charge of all the wrong things.
  • withdrawing from the world stage as an ally, as
  • cutting funding for everything (education, health and welfare, social programs, environment) but, basically, the military.

Let’s see if we can call the next 12 months, shall we? In the next 12 months, 45:

  • Bans trade with Switzerland and Slovenia. Calls them “wusses”.
  • Makes it illegal for black people to vote without fingerprint, retinal, and anal scans.
  • People of middle eastern descent, too.
  • Oh and Muslims.
  • Basically anyone brown or non-Christian.
  • Bombs North Korea. Claims it’s China’s fault. Also Hillary’s.
  • Institutes a special “birth control tax” to prevent the spread of that awful stuff.
  • Shortly followed by a “not pregnant tax”.
  • And then, an “out of the kitchen waiver program”.
  • Oddly, endorses the NBA, but only if Diet Coke will admit that the inauguration crowds were yuge.
  • Shuts down three solar panel factories in New England. Claims this generated 40,000 new jobs.
  • Trades 40,000,000 acres in western Alaska to Russia. For what, we’re not told.
    Edited to add:
  • Confederate flag flown over the White House.
  • West Wing demolished, rebuilt as a casino.
  • Rocky Mountain National Park razed, just `coz.

What else? Let’s see if satire is even possible any more.

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